Flannel and Feet
by BuzzCat
Summary: Darcy ends up at a club with Jane and finds herself fending off unwanted advances. Finally, one bit of wanted attention approaches and Darcy finds herself receiving a foot massage from the God of Mischief.


Darcy sat in the corner of the bar, drink in hand and steadily glaring down anyone who looked like they were going to muster the courage to talk to her. It had been a long day at SHIELD and she was in no mood to remind horny assholes that her eyes were above her neck, not directly below. Darcy had known it was a mistake to let Jane drag her here, but they'd planned this weeks in advance. Darcy had even bought a new dress and she looked smoking. But today had been nothing but one catastrophe after another for her and now she was stuck in this stupid bar in this stupid dress with this stupid overpriced drink while Jane danced with her stupid macho boyfriend. Stupid.

Another man looked like he was about to approach and Darcy flat-out scowled at him. He had a wedding ring, for Christ's sake! Who tried to pick up chicks while wearing a wedding ring? Idiots, that's who. Darcy drained her beer and signaled the bartender for another. In the second it took her to signal the bartender, Married Man sank into the empty seat beside her,

"Hello. Roger." he said, holding out his hand. The bartender placed the beer in front of Darcy and she took a swig, licking the foam from her lips,

"Not interested."

"Are you sure? You look kind of lonely and—"

"And I'm sure your wife is lonely too." interrupted Darcy. Even in the terrible club lighting, she could see him flush red,

"I'm sure…that is…"

"Leave. Now." said Darcy. The man hurried away, at least having the decency to look ashamed. Darcy sighed and was tempted to put her feet in the other chair, if only to keep anyone from sitting in it. She looked up and saw at least two more men covertly staring at her and Darcy almost punched something. _Fuck it,_ she thought, and put her feet in the chair. It felt good to stretch anyway, and her heels were killing her. There were enough extra stools left that no one should have reason to make her move. Darcy closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the dubiously clean wall, letting the music wash over her. Clubs would be perfect were it not for the people in them.

"Rough day at the office?" said a smirking voice. Darcy cracked one eye open to see Loki standing beside her. She nodded just the tiniest bit,

"Interns should be murderable by law."

"I'm not sure that's a word."

"Well I just made it one. Plus, if I get one more asshole that comes over hitting on me, I might actually kill someone. It will be slow and it will be painful and I will not regret it." growled Darcy. Loki immediately swept the bar, eyes narrowed,

"There are mortals foolish enough to brave the dragon's fury and try to buy you a drink?"

"They're mortals. Duh." said Darcy. Loki nodded,

"I see. It seems we understand each other. May I sit down?" He gestured to the seat Darcy's feet were currently occupying. She eyed him suspiciously,

"Can I put my feet in your lap?"

"Yes."

"Then yes." She moved just enough so he could sit down before plopping her legs in the God of Mischief's lap. Darcy had only gotten to know Loki in the past few weeks, a side effect of him making amends with Thor, who was always by Jane, who was usually by Darcy. Darcy had the distant feeling that it should be awkward to have any part of her in Loki's lap, but somehow she couldn't quite care. She was too frustrated with life to really give a damn. Loki ordered a pitcher of beer and took a deep breath, obviously fighting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose,

"I despair for the competency of the human race."

"Ditto," said Darcy, "I had to explain to Jane's new intern that fucking in the closet was not an acceptable excuse to be six hours late. After she forgot to pick up the coffee. Being late is one thing, I mean, good sex is good sex. That's fine. But she forgot the coffee. And this was the second week in a row that the lab ran out of Pop-Tarts."

"Of what importance are coffee and Pop-Tarts?" asked Loki. Darcy could only smile wryly,

"To scientists and myself? Great importance. It's what we live off for literally weeks."

"Today I had to explain the Internet to Thor." said Loki. Darcy winced,

"Ouch."

"He found Midgardian women in compromising positions."

"Porn?"

"Yes. And I had to explain it to him." said Loki. Darcy raised an eyebrow,

"What's there to explain?"

"Why they would do it, not to mention clarifying every fetish imaginable. And the logistics of the position. To my half brother."

"That's it. You win Worst Day Ever Award. I'm buying." said Darcy. Loki nodded,

"Thank you. It will take much alcohol to erase this memory."

"Then might I suggest liquor in place of beer."

"Excellent advice." He drained his mostly-full beer in seconds and ordered vodka, talking to the bartender, "Leave the bottle." He and Darcy drank in silence. Darcy was glad of his presence, as she no longer had to glare at men to make them leave her alone and she could hate life in peace. Loki was a quarter of the way through his vodka when he said out of the blue,

"Why do Midgardian women wear such ridiculous shoes?" Darcy, who had closed her eyes, didn't open them or uncross her arms to respond,

"Because they make our butt and legs look good."

"But the shoe is on your foot, not your ass or legs."

"Posture, man. Works wonders all around."

"But you are standing on tall spikes. It seems painful."

"Buddy, you have no idea." said Darcy. She was so comfortable here, with a god playing her footstool, that Darcy honestly believed she just might fall asleep. Loki was quiet for a moment, then Darcy jumped when she felt him remove her heels. She was about to question his motives when his thumbs started working on her arch and all that came out was an embarrassing moan. Loki smirked,

"I don't remember ever hearing that sound when both parties still wore clothes."

"Shut up and don't stop." said Darcy, her bossy words coming out as a purr. Soon Loki entirely abandoned his vodka in favor of exploring which parts of Darcy's feet made her moan loudest. If she was less intoxicated and more awake, she might have been embarrassed at the orgasmic noises she was making. As it was, Darcy was prepared to beg and buy drinks every night if it meant Loki never stopped rubbing her feet. She felt her whole body turning to Jello and Loki knew it, if the smirk she saw through squinted eyes was any indication. Bastard.

Darcy was half asleep when Loki leaned over and whispered,

"It's time for you to go home."

"'M waitin' for Jane." mumbled Darcy. Loki chuckled,

"Jane left half an hour ago with my brother."

"Bitch." she muttered. It would figure that Jane would drag her here and then ditch her. Loki gently lifted Darcy's legs off of his lap and stood up, putting them back down on the warm stool. Darcy blearily opened her eyes, thrusting her arms up at Loki, "Carry me." Darcy knew she was probably absolutely drunk and too tired to be making coherent decision, but she didn't particularly care. If she had to put on five-inch heels and walk after that foot massage, she'd probably fall and die.

Loki seemed to have reached the same conclusion because he wordlessly slid one arm under Darcy's knees and the other along her back, picking her up like she weighed nothing. Darcy linked her hands behind his neck and snuggled up to his chest as Loki carried her outside. It was cold, which threw Darcy for a moment and woke her up just enough to realize this was the weirdest and nicest thing Loki had ever done for her. Perhaps he was drunk too.

Darcy blinked and just like that, they were out of the club and in her mercifully silent apartment,

"Thought you weren't supposed to use magic. Penance." she said through her hazy thoughts,

"I can use it to help others." said Loki, laying Darcy in her bed. He snapped his fingers and Darcy's cute-but-uncomfortable dress was replaced with soft flannel pajamas. Loki pulled the covers over her and Darcy snuggled into her bed,

"Thanks."

"You are welcome." said Loki. Just like that, Darcy was fast asleep.


End file.
